You know that movie where Michael Keaton thinks he’s going to die so he records a bunch of parenting videos for his unborn son? Well this is that but with more sex and violence. The Ebert quote was said in private so you’ll just have to take my word for it because I’m lying.
I’m a middle-class child of immigrants. I’m told we were poor when my parents emigrated from Scotland to Canada in the 70s, but I don’t remember any of that. All I remember is a bucolic childhood where I was never in want for anything I needed.
Everything I wanted, however, was another matter entirely. You see, like most middle-class children of immigrants, my parents were born and raised working class. That means they were never quite comfortable in the new world they created for themselves. It also meant problems. I didn’t have the kind of problems they had. I didn’t have to fight every day in Glasgow’s slums like my father did, and I didn’t have to make my own meals at 13 because my single parent was on vacation again, as was the case with my mother. That doesn’t mean my problems weren’t problems, though. (more…)
Recently, French iconoclast Dominique Venner blew his head off inside the Cathedral of Notre Dame to protest gay marriage. Venner is a hero who fought in the Algerian War as a teenager and ransacked the French Communist Party’s office when he was 21. Like the face of the anarchist movement Guy Fawkes, Venner is a martyr who died defending Catholicism. (more…)
As Michael Moore so aptly pointed out in Bowling for Columbine, the root of the American dilemma lies deep within the American psyche. We are a machismo-addled culture where bullies are rewarded and “wimps” get sand in the face. We live in an age of school shootings, rape, and ceaseless war. You can keep throwing the petty thieves in jail and try to impeach the big boys, but until you get to the source of what makes a guy a guy, you won’t stand a chance against the patriarchy. (more…)
I watched the birth of my third child this week and it’s amazing how quickly you forget the bad parts. I understand why. We probably wouldn’t be here if we didn’t immediately forget how difficult childbirth is. I’m still at the part before your mind wipes everything clean and I’m writing this down so the rest of us can retain these memories forever. I hope I’m not inadvertently ending the human race. (more…)
This Is 40 is one of those rare films that is so unforgivingly awful, it’s worth watching. What was apparently intended to be a quirky peek at Judd Apatow’s real-life family is so universally hated, it’s actually bringing people together. (more…)
It’s easy to be arrogant about parenting before you become a parent. Everyone seems to be doing such a terrible job. They let their kids run around in restaurants and they let them get disturbingly fat. Some have annoying strollers that cost $1,000 and others pierce they baby’s ears. They’re either way too obsessed with safety and dress their kids like Starship Troopers or they don’t give a shit and let them walk around the block with no shoes on. It looks like an easy fix from the outside and before I had three kids, I was confident I would take parenting back to the glory days of The Great Depression. Boy was I ever wrong. Here’s some insane beliefs I had about parenting before I tried it. (more…)
