MOVIE REVIEW: BRAVE

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We went to see the movie Brave this weekend with family friends the McCormacks and although the movie was good, it was filled with dated stereotypes about Scots.

We went to see it in upstate New York because ticket prices are about half what they are in the city. We got there early to make sure we got tickets and then had our wives secure a picnic table outside while us dads went to get pizza. The guys at the pizza place said it would be about 25 minutes but we managed to get them down to 20 and that was still enough time to sneak over to the bar next door and down a few whiskies. So we did. Then we had one or two more. Then maybe another – or two.

There were 8 of us in total but the dinner bill was under $50. Not bad eh? The drinks were two-for-one so our secret sojourn was only another $20 bringing the total for the whole evening under $70. That’s all four McInneses and all four McCormacks fed and drunk for under $10 a person.

When we got to the theater, we unpacked the popcorn we had snuck in and put it into individual sandwich bags for each kid. The other dad had brought drink boxes, which I offered to pay for by pretending I was going to take out my wallet until he said not to worry about it.

The movie is a wonderful story about a young Scottish princess fighting for her rights. The accents are all totally authentic as Pixar chose almost strictly Glaswegians and all the details were perfect except for the stereotypes. They were all there on callous display: The cheap Scot, the violent Scot, and of course, the drunk Scot.

During a particularly tense part of the movie, the princess placates an entire castle full of highlanders by offering them whiskey. They roar with applause and head to the cellar. Then, to make matters worse, the father character (played by none other than Billy Connolly by the way) whispers to one of his servants that he needs to bring “small glasses.” So, not only are we drunks but we’re cheap too. Charming.

As usual, the most offensive stereotype was the violence. After a few jugs of booze, the clans were all at each other’s throats ready to fight to the death. I sat there in my seat seething with rage, imagining what I’d like to do to the writer of this fucking movie. I tried to explain this to my fellow dad but he kept telling me to be quiet and enjoy the film. Now I wanted to kill him too. I told him as much and he suggested I try it. I swear, if I hadn’t recently spent a few hours in jail for head butting a guy (the Glasgow kiss) I would have picked him up and thrown him right through the bloody screen!

At any rate, we made up by the end of the film and I slept it off in the passenger seat as my wife drove back. The way I remember things, it would have been a perfect night if only the people behind this project understood that you can’t make generalizations about people. I can tell you on thing for sure, if I had attended any of the test screenings for this picture, I would have sent them homeward tae think again.

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED AT BUNCH FAMILY
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