What’s Marijuana?


The child, Ms. Beasley Korsakov, likes the TeeVee show, SURVIVOR™. That’s OK, she can have her little TeeVee adventures and witness interesting social situations all she wants. Both of her parents are psychologists, so it’s all fine and nearly educational.

One of the contestants this season is a fella named Jim who happens to own a couple of marijuana dispensaries, bless his heart. He also plays competitive poker, but that’s neither here nor there.

The kid cranked up the old DVR after today’s homework, started watching and asked, “What’s marijuana?”

Well the answer came easy (something like this):

“Marijuana is a plant that some people eat or, like tobacco, smoke. Marijuana makes some people feel really good kind of like alcohol and it can make some people feel really loopy or just sleepy. It’s considered a medicine by a lot of people and an illegal drug by others. There are a bunch of states where it’s basically legal to possess. And it IS legal to possess or purchase in some other states if you have a prescription from a doctor for pain or anxiety or cancer or AIDS or anorexia. It’s a big industry now and is basically socially accepted.

Marijuana use–like gay marriage–will more than likely be perfectly legal and accepted when you’re an adult. Some people believe that marijuana is bad, especially for children (which I agree). Like many things that are for legal adults (alcohol, cigarettes, gambling), children shouldn’t consume marijuana. Some people believe marijuana leads to the use of other drugs that are actually harmful. But scientific research suggests that there are other factors exclusive of marijuana consumption that lead people to harmful drug use.

So Jim on SURVIVOR™ runs two shops where people who have prescriptions from doctors can legally buy marijuana to use to help them feel better. It’s just another job of a reality show contestant.”

She goes, “Oh. I’m going to watch now.” [In a perfect world or quality sit-com, her reply would’ve been, “does it make you ramble like you’re giving a college lecture?] I’m relieved we had that talk now.

But I now realize that explaining marijuana to a kid makes it seem like at some point someone really had a whole social and legal over-reaction to marijuana for reasons that seem quaint now.

We have real problems in this existence. Pot, for the most part, is quite insignificant.


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