Swagger Wagon vs. The Man Van


I seem to be on some sort of tear of late vis-à-vis men and their choice of the type of vehicles they choose to drive their kids and all their kids shit around in. That and rap parodies. But I’m not going to go into much detail or even edit because I’m sick and I’m on sick drugs and a friend just died. So this is all I got.

I found this in the Canadian press this morning (thus the “u” in “favourite” – Canadians are notoriously retarded, just look how they spelled “Viagra”):

“Chrysler is getting ready to roll out a manly minivan. The carmaker isn’t talking, but The Wall Street Journal got the lowdown from dealers who had been briefed about the plan to splash testosterone on North America’s favourite Mom Mobile, the Dodge Grand Caravan.

According to the paper, the “man van” will likely be based on a prototype displayed at the North American International Auto Show in Detroit, dubbed the Chrysler Viagara. That model featured a hood scoop with an air vent over the engine, a macho orange exterior and black leather seats with red stitching.”

I don’t really feel I need to type much here because anyone reading this already knows my take on the minivan. I don’t like them. Not because I find them castrating or somehow beneath me. I’d drive one rather than walk any day but they are not my preference for automobile. I don’t need all the room. And I actually like to drive. Maybe it’s my heritage as a Californian but those things aren’t fun to drive. Maybe I’m just fighting utilitarianism or some shit.  In fact, how ‘socialist’ are minivans, right?

But “Man Van” branding is so desperate it boggles even my brain. Man Van.  Sit on that for a minute. Juxtapose the Man Van with the Shelby here: [clicky]  If you’re going to drive a minivan, just drive a regular one, not one that is dressed up like daddy in the cocaine 70’s. That’s a bad toupee. That’s so, so, so…fuck!  I don’t even have the fucking words. Anyway, I’m just reporting the news. I couldn’t make this shit up.

But as Gavin said with regard to Church on the Move’s rap parody from the very last post–“Hate “I’m corny” rap parodies but this was pretty good”–I too possess general dislike for rap parodies.  But I’m finding myself relating to the Swagger Wagon parody by Nissan (below).  I think my resonance with this video has to do with a fantasy based upon smoking Mr. Sienna’s medicinal pot and banging his GGG wife.  Something like that.


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