THE TROUBLE WITH MUNO: A FOOFA EXCLUSIVE

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I met Foofa about two hours after our scheduled interview. She was in a foul mood and had tried to cancel it twice. The only reason she finally agreed to do it was I promised we wouldn’t focus on her and instead get into all the Muno stuff that’s been happening lately, particularly his Kia Motors ad. Apparently she has a lot to get off her chest.

We met backstage after a grueling four-hour taping of a new Gabba show where Muno was conspicuously absent. Foofa slumped down in the chair in front of mine with a cigarette in her mouth and Bud light in her hand. Her voice was much raspier than I thought it would be. She looked like shit.

My Dad Homies: Hi.

Foofa: Hello.

I can’t believe you smoke.

Don’t put that in there. So, you wanna talk about Muno?

Yes I do. Let’s start with these car ads.

I didn’t know about the car ads until I saw them on TV a few nights ago. He hasn’t been in here since and I have no idea what’s going to happen to him.

What do you mean?

This show was started by indie rock kids so our contracts are pretty loose but one thing it does stipulate is we don’t do any solo stuff, especially ads. When I saw that ad I thought, “Is he out of his fucking mind?”

Is he?

I dated Muno for a long time. He’s a good soul deep down but to be totally honest, I don’t think he’s cut out for this business. He reminds me of Steve-O or Tupac or Kanye or one of these guys whose mouth isn’t connected to his brain.

Like how? He has tourettes?

Sort of. My Mother is a beautiful woman but she does have a pretty large birthmark on her face. The first time I took him home to meet my parents he walks up to my mother and goes, “What happened to your face?” He doesn’t mean any harm by it. He’s just clueless. The whole time we were together I was walking on eggshells because I knew he was going to say the worst possible thing at the worst possible time. It broke us up ultimately.

Do you still love him?

Hah. He’s older than me but the whole relationship I felt like I was dating a kid. He’s a lost puppy. And what’s happening now with these ads is he’s got some Schlecky Greenberg of a manager who’s pissing in his ear and telling him he’s the king. It’s like the manager of the Clash telling Joe that Mick Jones had to go. Or like Nancy Spugen telling Sid he’s too good for the Pistols.

Nancy was Jewish.

Fuck off. I’m not making this a Jew thing. I’m just saying fame is a crazy fucking drug and it will mess with your mind. Me and Toodee can handle it because we were child actors but Muno’s from the Bronx. He’s been an outcast his whole life. He was the only red kid in his school. He got his ass kicked and now he’s getting his ass licked. That’s dangerous.

Yeah, you can get Hep C from eating ass or is it Hep B?

You know what? This is something very serious to me and it involves someone I see as family going down the wrong path. Fuck you if you can’t see that and fuck this interview.

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4 Responses to “THE TROUBLE WITH MUNO: A FOOFA EXCLUSIVE”

  1. NYC Says:

    is Muno John Mayer?

  2. Ty Says:

    It’s ALWAYS a Jew thing.

  3. Rob Says:

    Fucking Muno again. ugh. That superbowl money would just go up his nose if he had a nose.

    Is it me or did it look like a bootleg Muno in the ad, though? The teeth were wrong.

  4. JungleHeat Says:

    Great interview, I always thought she was Fupa, which has a rather dubious acronym attached to it. Kid actors…

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