HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILDREN’S TOYS

by

P7230089

My son has a xylophone that comes with a little wooden mallet he is always losing. Your kids probably have lots of toys that come in pieces and you know how impossible it is to keep them together. Like me, you’ve probably asked yourself, “Why don’t they make these toys with fishing line or something so you don’t lose pieces?” Instead of sitting around asking yourself questions, why not just take care of it yourself? Well, I asked myself the very same thing when sitting around recently.

P7230095

First, you need to get the smallest drill bit you can find. These toys are made for baby hands remember so they’re not exactly big.

P7230091

Then, you drill the hole through the mallet while making sure you don’t poke your finger on the other side.

P7230098

Once you’ve created the hole get some fairly sturdy fishing line to use as cord. I recommend EZ Mono.

P7230086

Now you simply tie it through the hole you just made.

P7230087

And then tie the other end to the toy it belongs to. In this case it’s a xylophone.

P7230083

And you’re done. Stand back and look at your work. Take a moment to see if there’s something you didn’t think of. Nothing? OK good. Let the kids have their fun.

P7230090

Soon after this, you will probably notice your son getting kind of tangled up in the line. That’s because you just turned his toy into a choking hazard. Dads often say, “Oh, THAT’S why they don’t make these toys with fishing line or something so you don’t lose pieces” around this point.

P7230088

Now, you take the toy back from the child and remove the fishing line using scissors.

P7230092

Ball it up and throw it in the garbage. Good work dad! Another problem solved.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR CHILDREN’S TOYS”

  1. ty Says:

    Fire. Electric shock. Spider bite. If a kid doesn’t touch fire, stick something into the socket, or go outside and get bitten, a kid doesn’t learn shit.

    My wife still tries to hold my seven year-old’s hand when crossing the street all, LOOK BOTH WAYS!!!!!” I’m like, “It’s your responsibility to prevent getting run over” and I encourage her to walk across the street without the bubble wrap.

    Jesus!

    And guess what? She loves having the responsibility for her own safety.

    Now your little one is too young to understand the concept of choking hazards, but at some point they’ll experiment with asphyxiation. The smart ones will survive.

  2. Koreanish Says:

    I was reading it going “Oh, handyman tips, great idea.” Then “What the fuck? The kid is going to choke or slice open his hand on the wire.” Then “Oh. You immediately realized that. I need to chill the fuck out.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: