A common misconception with Fatherhood is you can’t party as much because the kids take over your life. BUUUUULLLLL SHIT! My life is almost exactly the same as it was when I was single. There’s just a few more hoops to jump through.

For example, if you’re a pal and you’d like to grab a beer, I am available from 2 to 4PM when the kids are napping – unless there’s some pressing deadline or it’s one of the days I go to the gym or whatever. In which case, catch me on my next window which is 9 to 11PM – unless my wife doesn’t decide to go to bed early and would like to catch up on what’s going on in our lives since our daughter doesn’t allow us to have a normal conversation with each other in the day.

We’d have to do it somewhere right near my house because I really do have to go right at 11 and I won’t know if this is going to be possible until the very last second so please be ready. In a perfect world all my friends would have a Batphone and a fire pole so the second I know I’m ready, they jump into their pants and are out the door, sirens blaring.

If you’d like to do something big like go to a fight or see a movie, this is also a cinch. Just call me 2 or 3 days in advance and I’ll discuss it with my wife. If she wants to come we’ll get a babysitter and pay $15 an hour to be out with you. If not, I’ll go out alone with you and owe her one which is also kind of like paying someone $15 an hour.

Also, every second I’m out socializing there’s a nagging voice saying, “Is this really better than being with your kids?” so please keep the interestingness at 11 during the entire course of the night.

See how easy it is? Now let’s get down to some serious partying!


One Response to “LET’S PARTY!”

  1. Lyndon Says:

    Can we please?

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