RICH PARENTS VS. POOR PARENTS

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I love rich parents. They provide for their children and understand how important it is to give them a balanced diet. They would never consider a free lunch- I mean literally, a free lunch. Bloomberg has been bragging about New York’s new Free Lunch Program and most middle class parents are asking, “How much is a fucking ham sandwich, 30 cents? What, you can’t scrape some mac & cheese together? You can’t? Well then what can you do? Sorry but you shouldn’t be having kids if lunch is out of your league. It’s like drunk driving. They say you can’t drive a vehicle if you’re had 2 beers. Well you shouldn’t be driving at all if you can’t commandeer a vehicle properly with 2 beers in your system. Get it? That’s you with kids.”

They understand only a homeless person could justify needing a free lunch for their kids.

I love poor parents. They accept the fact they didn’t spend 12 years in medical school memorizing boring latin terms and studying the history of vaccinations. When well-informed doctors tell a poor parent he needs his shots they don’t fret about the 30 seconds it’s going to make the baby cry and say, “Sounds good to me.” Subsequently, you don’t get poor kids bringing back ancient diseases like Scarlet Fever. That’s right. The bourgeoisie over at Northside Preschool in Brooklyn have brought back Scarlet Motherfucking Fever. The Working class parents at the school are – understandably – pissed off and asking, “Wait, what? You refused shots because why? Because you don’t think you need them? What did you take in school? Huh? What the fuck is Mass Comm!? Now you’re crazy bullshit ideas about medicine is putting MY kids health at risk!? What the fuck? Look shitheads, I don’t care if you rich people want to fuck up your own lives. That’s none of my business. But now you’re bullshit is making it unsafe for all our kids. What the fuck is the matter with you?”

They understand the dangers of scoffing at hundreds of years of medicine and how that makes  all our kids unsafe.

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One Response to “RICH PARENTS VS. POOR PARENTS”

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